Whoever have said those lines were probably fed up of hearing lame excuses. But for me, it was more like : a reason is an explanation while an excuse makes it sound like it was okay.
I have a co-worker who is such a terrible liar, pretentious and scheming, who uses her very worn-out reason, no, her worn-out excuse everytime she takes a day off from work. It all started last year when she was diagnosed with a condition in her throat that needs urgent medical attention. She keeps seeing her doctor then for check-ups, laboratory etc. After 6 months or so, she's cured.
To tell you frankly, it's not in my attitude to pry at the lives of other people or judge their actions because I too have my own lapses. But it really annoys me everytime she uses that Doctor's Check-up with my throat in her leave form. I know she has to see her doctor every once in a while to make sure her throat condition doesn't recur. But seeing your doctor like every goddamn week? I hope she's not fucking insane. Be creative with your excuses girl, duh!
What makes me feel bad even more is that her boss doesn't have a single inkling about it. I'm really tempted to tell her boss the real reason behind her frequent absences but I guess it's none of my business so I'll keep my DAMN. MOUTH. SHUT.
Anyway, her not-so-cunning move leads me to ponder on what do most people write in their leave forms. My nosy personality got the better of me so I queried the database. You'll never know how far some people would go just to come up with a decent-sounding, funny, lame, dumbfounding excuse. Hmmmmm...... I could actually use one of these someday.
The following returned a significant number of results so I considered them to be topnotchers.
LBM (or diarrhea)
> Oooppss! Eating right now? Anyway, I wonder if this stands for Loose Bowel Movement or Looking for Better Management? The latter is a common sickness when you're aging with the company and boredom kicks in.
Important Family / Personal Matters
> It means you have a job interview (Personal) or currently contemplating a job offer which offers higher pay and tempting benefits (Family). Lie better.
> You're attending what?! Excuse me, but I guess family gatherings are usually held on weekends when everyone is off from work. So what's up with family reunion on a weekday? Busted!!!
> When you're too dumb to think of an excuse. Use this!
Take Mother/Father/Daughter/Son/Wife to the Doctor
> Uhmmm... I guess Filipinos are just family-oriented. Aryt?
While these refer to unknown or still-to-be-known illnesses :
> I'm serious! Someone really wrote this. I'm glad it wasn't heart attack or he will never had the chance to submit his leave form.
Respiratory Tract Infection (RTI???)
> Ah, did you mean Urinary? Or I'm the one stupid?
The following are uncategorized, weird, mind-boggling excuses :
Went to children school
> What are grown-ups doing in children school? Ahhh... She went to her child/children's school.
Read : Went to the dentist for tooth extraction. I guess that sounds better. Awww..dentist!
Went to the Doctor, wife is sick.
> I'm confused. Who is sick? You or wife?
Holiday with fiance
> Wow! Brewing romance... ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!
Okay, okay. I'm envious.
Waited for my sister
> Oh, where were you dear sistah?!
Car won't start
> Oh! Don't you have feet?
There's a preparation to be done
> Mind telling us what?
> Oopps! I think this is me. I use this excuse most of the time hahaha! Guilty!!!
> And since when did heavy rain became an excuse? Read the next item.
Drenched in the rain
> Oh I see... Now I understand. Let me introduce you to umbrella.
Attend an important business affair
> Interesting! An engage employee and a business magnate at the same time. I hope this is not a case of conflicting interest.
Having a hard time breathing
> Oh my god! Call ambulance now! Fast!!!
Fell down the stairs
> Ouch! *shouts* Who put these toys in the stairs?!
My husband didn't go home
> I guess she's now coordinating with the local police for a joint 24-hour manhunt operation.
Mauled by a drug-addict neighbor
> Poor thing...
> Dear Employee,
I'm tired of hearing your tiresome excuses. If you're tired with your job, you might as well rest your tired ass and never come back.
Your Tired Boss
So, would you like to add your own version on the list?