Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Profile of the HATER

So. As you know I have a hater. *clap, clap, clap* I'm quite a celebrity duh! Flatter me some more (hahahaha!)

It all started 2 weeks ago. An unregistered number keeps ringing my phone. The thing is, I don't answer anonymous caller right away. So when the dumb bitch (let's call her that for purpose of reference) texted why am I not answering my phone, I took it as a sign to pick the call the next time my phone rings. And when I did, the dumb bitch on the other line won't talk. No single evidence of someone trying to do a conversation. Just silence. And silence.

I got pranked. Tsk, shame on me!

Then she keeps on calling which has become annoying so I sent her a trashy text message "who the fuck is this?"

And she replied : "Just a fucking bitch like you".

Whooahh!!! Did she just try to scare my wits off? Sadly, NO! I've heard enough people calling me bitch so it's not kind of new to me. Just a suggestion: try slutty. It might work. Yeah, slutty bitch. I'd like that (smiling).

Now where was I?

Since this dumb bitch started this face off match, then I'm not going to take this lightly. Guess what missy, a garbage text deserves a more garbage reply. You didn't think you're the only one good at this or did you? Now that's SHAME on YOU!

A couple more replies had me figured I'm not going to win coz I don't know her identity and she wouldn't tell me (that's obvious) and I'm pretty sure she'll do what she can to hide herself. So let's just wait for the truth to come out. I did not bother to reply anymore.

Her messages continued the following day and I really really wanted to hit the reply button and slap her with her own shit. But doing that would make me worse than her. I'd just read her text, type my reply and save it in my draft. Arrggh!

One thing I learned about my hater is that we probably work in the same company. Apart from the fact that she knows my job, she told me she sees me everyday. She's also in my circle of friends coz she knows where I come from. She's probably between 25-30 years old, not yet married and maybe lives alone. Why? Because she disturbs me at the wee hours of the evening. Maybe she can't sleep, she doesn't have someone to talk to, she's bored and she's ENVIOUS.

I'm near to unveiling this mystery she's created and once I get to know her I swear I'll make her regret messing up with the wrong person. And she's trying to pull off another scheme... After I blocked her number, she used another one. Hmmm nice try. Now I blocked all numbers that aren't in my phonebook. Bring on some of your schemes bitch and I can surely find ways to counter them. I'm brilliant like that! (well, that's what my mother thinks hehehe...)

Friday, May 20, 2011

From one bitch to another

Dear Hater,

First of all I'd like to applaud you for going through the effort of getting an anonymous number, persistently calling my phone, then wouldn't answer if I'll pick up and sending nasty text messages.

So cowardly.

I don't know who you are and the fucking hell I care. All I know is that you hate me for being me. Sorry missy, whatever you do you'll never be Me. Either deal with it or live with that. Your choice, LOSER.

Though I find your bitching annoying and irritating, it will not shaken me. Sticks and stones may break my bones but none of your words will. So go on creep! Keep hating me and keep talking. You've no idea how much you make me feel like I'm famous. You're creating this little drama out of pure insecurity. Oh by the way, did I tell you that insecurity has no cure? Well, goodluck with that! Eat your heart out and die.

I wanted so much to reply on your nasty messages. Believe me, it took a lot of courage for me not to. I won't play with your games coz I'm far better than you are and you know that! Just make sure I'll never find out who you are. Coz when I do, it won't be pretty. If you know me that much, I'm sure you know not to mess up with me. So keep hiding from that anonymous number. Mask your face with those text messages. You're doing yourself a big favor for doing that. Or should I say, saving your face for doing that.

And what is it that you said we see each other everyday and how much you wanted to grab my hair? Hmmm..interesting. That's why I never changed my number. Coz each time you text me, you subconsciously reveal your identity. See how stupid can you get? Say whatever you want to say. No matter what you do it won't change the fact that between you and I, you're the one who needs a big slap on the face. Pathetic!

And while I'm reading your "bothering" messages, I can't help but laugh. Sooner or later I'll find out who you are. So be careful bitch - one false move and you're down.

Anyway, expect not to get any replies from me. Haaayy... waste of time, waste of money, waste of effort. And what is it that they say about holding grudges to other people takes a toll on your health? I won't waste my life on you psychotic bitch. I live a fabulous life which I'm pretty sure you don't. So again, eat your heart out!

I know you won't be able to read this blog. But in case you stumble on this page, read every word carefully coz I'm not going to warn you again. From one bitch to another -BACK OFF CREEP!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Damon Humor

Probably the only TV show that had me so hooked (okay after Charmed and Prison Break) is Vampire Diaries. I have always loved vampire tales. Be it in movies (Underworld -seen them all) and books (Twilight - read them all). There's something about vampires that make their story all the more intriguing and charming.

Anyway, what makes this show so addictive? I could do a little rundown of the story in a heartbeat, the compelling twists in the plot plus the complex characters - but... it all boils into one thing - DAMON SALVATORE.

Ooppss! Team DAMON here! Sorry Stefan fans... This is my blog so I can pretty much profess my love for Damon Salvatore (Ian Sommerhalder).

He is smoldering hot. Gorgeous. His bad ass attitude is sooo sexy. His character keeps me eager to watch every single episode since Season 1.

I've never admired any bad guy in any movie - except for this eternal stud.

Damon is famous for his one liners. His funny, witty quotes are hard to match. There's something with the way he delivers his lines, the way he does the "eye" thing, his brows, his facial expression - incredibly Damon.

Whenever Damon talks I'm all ears. And I take note some of his famous lines.

Here's my list. Those in blue are my faves.

“Don’t mistake the fact that we haven’t set you on fire in your sleep for trust.”

"I’d fight me" – to Stefan (ensuing fight with Stefan)

“Aren’t you worried that one day all the forest animals are gonna band together and fight back?” –to Stefan (re stefan’s diet preference)

This is reality and there’s no such thing as werewolves or combat turtles.” – to Stefan

“Tried to kill a werewolf. Failed. Now I feel like I’m not living up to my best self.” –to Katherine

“If we start believing in some supernatural, witchy-woo legend from a picture book, we’re idiots.” – to Alaric

“I look at you and I see myself. A less dashing, less intelligent version.” – to Mason

“Can we not do the whole road trip bonding thing? The cliche of it all makes me itch.” –to Stefan

“What I’m about to say is probably the most selfish thing I’ve ever said in my life. I just have to say it once, you just have to hear it. I love you, Elena. And it’s because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you. And why you can’t know this. I don’t deserve you, but my brother does. God, I wish you didn’t have to forget this. But you do." –to Elena

“If you are setting me up in any way I will rip you heart out and shove it down your throat. It’s something I’m very good at.” –to Katherine

“I find hilarity in the lengths that I have to go to to repeatedly save your life.” –to Elena

“I have a secret, a big one. But I’ve never said it out loud. What’s the point? It’s not gonna change anything. It’s not gonna make me good, make me adopt a puppy. I can’t be what other people want me to be. What she wants me to be. This is who I am.”

“You are my existential crisis. Do I kill you or do I not kill you? But I have to Jessica, because I’m not human. And I miss it. I miss it more than anything in the world. That is my secret. But there is only so much hurt a man can take.”

“I’m changing and evolving into a man capable of greatness. Better watch your back, cuz I may just have to go get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder.”

“Come back as a vampire, I’ll stake you myself, so don’t. Cuz I can’t stand the idea of you hating me forever.”

What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!

“There’s no such thing as a bad idea, just poorly-executed awesome ones.” (double like!)

"If I see something I haven't seen before,I'll throw a dollar at it.”

"If this Wolf Man thing is true, I’ve seen enough movies to know it’s not good. It means Mason Lockwood is a real-life Lon Chaney and that little Tyler punk may just very well be Lon Chaney, Jr. which means Bela Lugosi, meaning me, is totally screwed." – to Alaric

"You call, I come. I'm easy like that."

"Great Elena. I`m walking on sunshine. Thanks for asking." – (in a sarcastic tone haha!)

"That`s me. Your trusty bodyguard. Calm in a crisis."

"Yes Stefan, I`ve become you. How tragic for both of us. Gotta run. Have a murder to plan. Busy day"

“Katherine, there are six other bedrooms in this house, go find one.”

Dude? Really? Dude?

That's for me to know and for you to dot, dot, dot(…).

“BTW, that means by the way.”

"... My infringing ability to listen to Taylor Swift!"

"You see, that's why I didn't tell you. Cause you would have never been able to do it. Don't get me wrong, Stefan. I don't mind being a bad guy. I'll make all the life and death decisions, while you're busy worrying about collateral damage. I'll even let her hate me for it. But at the end of the day, I'll be the one to keep her alive."

"So, let me guess... in addition to the moonstone, the doppelganger, the lion, the witch and the wardrobe you need to find this witch burial ground."

Whoever wrote his lines is a freaking genius. And I salute Ian Sommerhalder for being so clever in it.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Movies, Movies, Movies and ... Movies!

Guess what?

I'm back in the movie game!!! Hahaha.

Been awhile since the last time I did a sort of "movie review" if you can call it that one.

Well this time, I'm not only gonna pick those that I like. I will also comment on movies which I think are either stupid or REAAALLY stupid.

Anyway, just a disclaimer. This is not a review. Just my thoughts and opinion on the films I've watched in the span of 2 weeks.

First off, the crazy, hilarious stuff which I liiiiike! Recommended!

1. Hot Tub Time Machine (John Cusack)
Released last year, this movie is about, well, you guessed it - going back in time. A story of 3 friends who are not doing well in present life decided to bond and re-live their younger days. Went back to town where they used to hang out, stayed at the same hotel, same room and party on the same hot tub. Apparently, they spilled drink on somewhat electrically charged button of the tub and things just went odd. Everything seemed normal when they woke up the following morning except that everyone in sight is wearing warmers, guys in faded jeans, girls in colored, know the 80s fashion. Yes, they're back in 1986!

The fun begins when they start doing the exact same thing they did 24 years ago - it's their only ticket to the present. But despite putting a lot of effort to re-live their wild teenage life, strange things happen that would seem to implicate their "future" life.

I personally enjoyed this movie. If you're on for a laugh trip, this should be on your list.

2. Just go with it (Adam Sandler & Jennifer Aniston)
A comedy/lovestory about a plastic surgeon (Sandler) who pretends to be married. He believes that girls are more attracted to married men and so he goes on pretending until he met a girl who doesn't want to commit to a married man. Realizing the flaw in his strategy, he asked her assistant (Aniston) to pretend as her ex-wife.

Complications start to arise as Sandler tries to unloose every string in his lies.

3. Grown-ups (Adam Sandler)
I hope I'm not making it obvious that I've been watching a lot of Sandler's film lately. :) This one's funny too. Will make you appreciate of your childhood.

4. Here comes the bride (Tagalog film)
That's right! A corny title for a very funny movie. Calling it funny is an understatement actually. The cast, story line and plot is superb. I watched this last Sunday (while the whole nation is waiting for the Pacquaio - Mosley fight) and I still can't get over with how hilarious it was. I was laughing from beginning 'til end. Not only it was directed remarkably, the lines are witty and this movie doesn't take on toilet humor.

Filipino film makers have a lot to learn on this one.

5. First Love (A little thing called love)
This is a thai movie. I’m multi-lingual. I can read and understand thai. Actually, there's an English subtitle so better download a VLC player if you wanna watch this.

The story revolves around a 14 year-old girl named Nam. (Yes that's her name. Not the thing you say when you eat something delicious - nam, nam, nam, nam, nam....) Nam is plainly simple, unattractive, dark colored skin girl. Simply put, she is NOT pretty. She's in love with an older guy in grade 10 named Shone who is hot, gorgeous and drop-dead-gorgeous. Wait, did I just say gorgeous twice? Damn yes! He's really gorgeous that I watched the movie twice hahaha! I know you hate spoilers so I'll just shut up.

I got so caught up with this movie. It will definitely remind you of your high school crushes, the friends you made in high school, the crazy things you do just to get HIS attention and how your friends support you all the way.

There was a part in the movie where I cried coz I suddenly remembered my friends and I missed them. I could see a part of me in Nam's. I can laugh with her silliness. I can identify with her innocence, on how she tried making herself pretty by putting on whitening products and buying how-to-get-the-guy-of-your-dreams kind of book.

This movie is just so nice and pretty. You better watch it!

Next, the "okay" movies.

1. No strings attached (Ashton Kutcher & Natalie Portman)
Reading from the title I'm sure you know that this is about friends with benefits. And since when did Ashton became a porn star? A year ago I watched his movie "Spread" and I can't believe that that movie is all about f****ng.

This movie is the tamer version. Not too many pumping scenes and yeah, he's got a nice butt. ;-))

2. Big Momma's Like Father Like Son
Hmmm...I'd say this movie is good enough to keep me entertained for 1hour and 50minutes.

Lastly, the "stupid" movies.

Stupid movies can be sometimes entertaining. But not these :

1. Scream 4
Really. I was just ranting about this in twitter. The most stupid horror movie of all time! I mean, come on! The scenes from 1 to 4 are all just... the same! Can't they think of anything better? Honestly, they're leveraging on how gross the victims got butchered.

2. Get him to the Greeks
This is eww... Very gross and offensive. So full of racial humor and penis joke.

That's it for today. I still have plenty to watch for. :)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Things That Would Make Me Look Like An Idiot

I'm not the smartest girl in the world but I try not to fall short on people's expectations. And sometimes my superhuman powers a.k.a. multitasking abilities do wear off when I'm too tired and stressed. Well, I'm just human.

About 70% of my job is correspondence. Most of the time my boss would ask me to proofread or write/reply an e-mail on his behalf. Now would he entrust those things to me if he finds out my e-mail bloopers lately? I bet he will have second thoughts.

I don't know why I have this non-focused mode lately. So if you spot inconsistency, incoherence, misspelling and wrong choice of words and phrases in this post, that's the non-focused mode I'm trying to say, slowly kicking in.

So. On to my bloopers. E-mail bloopers. I have a lot actually but these two had been haunting me in my sleep and I will never ever forgive myself for this. You see, when I type in the computer I look at the monitor. Not on the keyboard. The reason for this is to avoid misspelling and so that I can review what I'm writing right away. What happens during the last few days is that I'm not actually reading what I'm typing. It's more like looking straight into the monitor but seeing past through it.

Blooper # 1 :
I typed : His assport is with me.
That should be : His passport is with me.

Blooper # 2:
I typed : He went to the hospital to tender the injured partners.
That should be : He went to the hospital to tend to our injured partners.

Aside from misspelling and wrong word choice, what's the difference?

The first one was sent internally and is obviously a case of misspelling. Besides, the three recipients will just laugh at the 'assport' word. I'm not perfect you know, but I created a new word that will line up with 'asshole', 'assbag', 'ass', and 'kick my ass'. Whatever!

The second one... Well this, this caused the nightmare in my sleep. I was cracking my brains if I really wrote 'tender' instead of 'tend' when I went to bed. I immediately retrieved my sent items folder when I sat at my office chair the following day. And there I saw, re-read my email, and for the first time I could make out the grim expression of my face reflecting on my screen. Ohmygod what a shame! Seriously, tender the injured partners? What are they? MEAT???! Arrrrgh!

And the worst part? I sent them to our Operations Director in the US and Europe. Daaaammmmmnnnnn!!!!!

For half a second I want to blame my boss for asking me to send that e-mail. He was suppose to have a conference call with these guys but he was in a hurry to go to the hospital. And who was I to say, "no"?

There! I have completely made an idiot out of myself. I wonder what will these people think of me (sighs).

And when you insist on texting someone who doesn't bother or too busy to reply coz maybe that someone has completely and utterly forgotten you is also a serious case of STUPIDITY. Well, I'm gonna pass on that. To HELL with you!


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