Have you ever been in a situation that made you wish to run and just disappear? When it was too mortifying to even think about? That even your stomach turns when you recalled how stupid it was? And you silently wished you have amnesia, selective amnesia for that matter, so you can’t even try to think how awful it has been?
Well, I am.
And I’m in.
At this very moment.
As I was writing this post.
Someone close to me, who knows darn well about my idiosyncrasies (sorry but I like to call the crazy stuff I do as idiosyncrasy), accidentally found the link to my blog on twitter. And as “luck” would have it, the first post she read was the poem I wrote!
I really don’t understand why fate loves to poke fun at me. Of all the posts I’ve written this month, that particular post got her attention.
Alright. Your turn to ask, “What’s the big deal?”
I’m not quite a sharer in real life. But when it comes to blogging I don’t hide. I let it all out. If there’s one thing that writing has taught me, it’s that I can be honest with myself without being an over-sharer. I can freely speak up my mind without fearing that others may judge me.
So back to the poem…
She knows to whom that poem was meant for.
She knows what catapulted me to write such.
She knows I’ve stopped writing poetry long ago and it would take an inspiration for me to be able to write that again.
So when I was told she read the poem……. I jumped on my feet, heart racing, palms sweating…. Okay, I’m exaggerating. I WANT TO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE AND SCREAM!!!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
I felt like busted for a crime I DID commit.
I felt so ashamed.
Not to myself. But to her! It’s like she found a golden secret and I’m doomed!
Please Earth, can you rip open for a second and swallow me? Alive???!
Or can I just bury my face into the sand?
This is the consequence of having a public blog. And what’s worse???? Mine’s personal! That’s the main reason why I don’t usually tell my friends that I blog coz the thought of them reading my writing scares me. It’s like they’re stalking at me. And there are things I talk on my blog that I never share to them.
Anyway, will someone sponsor a FACE MAKE-OVER? Dunno if there is such thing but I really need one right now!