Monday, May 3, 2010

So you really think I deserve it, huh?!

Honestly, I don't know how to start writing this one...

I was suppose to write about my weekend getaway until I discovered something. This is not a big deal actually, I mean to you as the reader. But to me it was kind of an unacceptable demeanor. Not only did it hurt me emotionally but the congenial feeling I used to have for that person has been tarnished. And I don't know what would it take to revive that pleasant friendship we once had.

I have a guy officemate who's very dear to me. Nope, he's not my boyfriend if you wanna ask. Nor he's a special someone if that's your next question. He's my buddy. My badminton playmate. We're not really the best of friends of sort but among all of my guy officemates, we're the closest.

This guy officemate tends to be playful in a sweet but sometimes irritating way. Human as I am, I would sometimes loose patience and better judgement of the situation at hand. So last week, I was dealing with a headache while having breakfast at the cafeteria when he approached me. Because I'm a bit temperamental especially when I'm beginning to feel annoyed by his silly pranks at me, I yelled at him. No, I'm not really sure if  I yelled but I know that I didn't sound pleasant that morning. Maybe I did raise my voice but I wasn't at all angry. You know when you're too comfortable with the person you tend to be not yourself sometimes?!? That best explains our situation.

Actually I was unaware that I have been grumpy with him for awhile. Well I'm sorry I get pissed off sometimes! He took offense at my crankiness and told a friend that he will never ever go near on me. Man, I feel like I'm having a contagious disease or something! Of course I wasn't adamant with my fault. I asked sorry and told him it will never happen again. I must have really hurt him because we were not in speaking terms after that.


Today I found out he deleted me in his facebook friend list. Ouch!!! It felt really bad... It's like I was stabbed in the back. I know I did wrong but I already asked for forgiveness and sincerely said my sorry. Was it really an awful mistake on my part that makes me deserve his hatred? It  maybe a harmless act - deleting me in your friend list - but for me it's past the deed. And he whom I consider one of my best pals, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO MEAN TO DO THAT  TO ME? We'll, if it makes you happy then try deleting all our conversations in your mobile phone and my comments on your facebook profile. Maybe then you can find your own peace and happiness.


Anonymous said...

Oh Jan sorry to hear that. Just give him time. Maybe one day he'll realize that you were just having a bad day that time. You asked for forgiveness already right? He was hurt and maybe when the hurt is gone he will finally open up his mind.

Meg said...

Hey..thats sad. A good friend should not have done that. But if he doesnt have that in him...try not to think about it. Let go.

janjan said...

@mishieru : you're right maybe he needs time.

@megha : i agree and I would not even do that to any of my friends.


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