Saturday, July 31, 2010

Earth, swallow me...!

Have you ever been in a situation that made you wish to run and just disappear? When it was too mortifying to even think about? That even your stomach turns when you recalled how stupid it was? And you silently wished you have amnesia, selective amnesia for that matter, so you can’t even try to think how awful it has been?

Well, I am.

And I’m in.

Right now!

At this very moment.

As I was writing this post.

Someone close to me, who knows darn well about my idiosyncrasies (sorry but I like to call the crazy stuff I do as idiosyncrasy), accidentally found the link to my blog on twitter. And as “luck” would have it, the first post she read was the poem I wrote! I really don’t understand why fate loves to poke fun at me. Of all the posts I’ve written this month, that particular post got her attention.

Alright. Your turn to ask, “What’s the big deal?

I’m not quite a sharer in real life. But when it comes to blogging I don’t hide. I let it all out. If there’s one thing that writing has taught me, it’s that I can be honest with myself without being an over-sharer. I can freely speak up my mind without fearing that others may judge me.

So back to the poem…

She knows to whom that poem was meant for.

She knows what catapulted me to write such.

She knows I’ve stopped writing poetry long ago and it would take an inspiration for me to be able to write that again.

So when I was told she read the poem……. I jumped on my feet, heart racing, palms sweating…. Okay, I’m exaggerating. I WANT TO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE AND SCREAM!!!! WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

I felt like busted for a crime I DID commit.

I felt so ashamed.

SOOOOoooooo M.O.R.T.I.F.I.E.D.

Not to myself. But to her! It’s like she found a golden secret and I’m doomed!

Please Earth, can you rip open for a second and swallow me? Alive???!

Or can I just bury my face into the sand?

This is the consequence of having a public blog. And what’s worse???? Mine’s personal! That’s the main reason why I don’t usually tell my friends that I blog coz the thought of them reading my writing scares me. It’s like they’re stalking at me. And there are things I talk on my blog that I never share to them.


Anyway, will someone sponsor a FACE MAKE-OVER? Dunno if there is such thing but I really need one right now!


Gnetch said...

Haha. Yes, it is indeed one of the consequences of writing. But they will soon forget it. I hope. But, is she teasing you about it? That would be hard to face.

Actually, an officemate found my blog and now refers to one of my supervisors as "The Dev" when she's talking to me about her. I told her to keep it a secret but she said she can't help calling The Dev that name because it's so appropriate. I'm actually scared for myself.

So! Would you like me to sponsor your super facial make over???? LOL

janjan said...

Not yet! But I know for sure she will when she sees me wahahhahaa!

So when do we have the face make-over? :)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, i smell something fishy about that poem. Hahaha! Hey, don't hide. Just play it cool.

sEy said...

You got me then with those poetic side of yours and now she got you!!! hahaha! don't worry Jan, it's part of everything and I experienced a lot like that! Now my officemates are running around announcing my blog. Even the boss is now spying on me. Huhuhu!

don't take it seriously, time will pass. Let Gnetch sponsor that make over of yours.

Meg said... so happens with public blogs but with such good writing she wud start appreciating things more :-) so chill

i am at my best when i write my blog at work and m always hiding not to let my boss know. m somewhere deep within i feel he wouldn't hate me even if he finds out.

btw..what was in the poem ;-)

i'm no miss said...

I'm a very private person too. As much as possible I want people who know me, except my family and close relatives, know less too. But as you said, what we have is a personal blog, so what else should we write in there, right?

As to your mortified state right now, it too shall pass :)

Hotcakes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hotcakes said...

my blog is also super anonymous because I have learned from blogging out and showing it to my friends, I just end up having more enemies.

i would die if my blog goes into public like people i know. not for my own identity but to protect my boyfriend's.

i had to invent a whole new facebook. email. twitter. entire thing.

there are only 2 people who knows my link for now, and for the sake so that they'd understand me but they dont really stalk me so it doesnt really matter.

is this girl someone you hate? so did you change your URL link already?

Hotcakes said...

and... do you think SHE will be able to read this, you know?

janjan said...

Mitch - yah I think that's the best thing to do. :)

Sey - that's what i'm saying about the consequence of having a blog haha!

Meg - she kept teasing me about it and i really want to punch her hahaha!

im no miss - hey, loved your other blog. i also have a private blog. as much as i want to share everything, there are certain things that i want to keep to myself but i wanna write it anyway. so there.

hotcakes - hi there! thanks for swinging by and for the follow. im looking forward to read your entries too. anyway, the girl is a friend of mine so i don't need to worry much. it's just that i can't stand the teasing hehehehe...


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