Wednesday, August 18, 2010

About Goodbyes and Dreading Tomorrow

If there's one thing I hate about the word "Goodbye", is that it brings an inconsolable feeling of loneliness. It shatters every hope, every piece of memory you keep holding on. It gives you emptiness and sadness when you begin to think of spending the coming days on your own again. Like it was before. Like when you hadn't known a certain kind of feeling exist.

Goodbyes always get me. It always breaks my heart when someone so close and important to me bids farewell, be it a colleague who decides to try his luck on other endeavors, or a friend who tries to seek greener pasture in foreign lands. I always hate the feeling of being left behind, of being abandoned. It's not that I'm going to miss them terribly, for I'm sure I will, it's the icky feeling that things will never be the same again. That everything you shared together will become nothing but memories which can only be replayed on your mind as time passes.

But they say nothing lasts forever. Even emotions fade over the course of time. Maybe I will learn to face this emptiness, this sadness, this loneliness I'm feeling. Maybe right now I don't wanna think about someone leaving, not just yet. Maybe I'll start thinking that tomorrow never comes so that I will stop dreading each and every day that comes after it.

I often hear a song that says, "Where is the good in goodbye?". Yeah. I already asked myself several times. And more often than not, I always find the same answer. The only good in goodbye is that it lets you face your fears and makes you stronger, which in turn molds you to become a better person.

I may not be able to comprehend the reason why such big decision has to be made, the logic of being apart, the essence of waiting for someone to come back, the value of trusting that promises will be kept, the faith that it's gonna be all worth it in the end - I know one day I'll understand. One day I'll get by. And one day I'm gonna be fine...


Ratz said...

hey there girl.. u okay! i hope you are okay.. man this goodbye bug hits everyone at the same time or wat! i hate it.... u stay put girl.. and u are absolutely right when u say tat goodbyes makes us better people, we understand the things that we thought we could never do--- surviving without the person. i hope that u get to come back to the normalcy soon... Love and hugs to you

Rachel W. said...

I agree, goodbyes are never easy. But I guess they aren't supposed to be. As you said, they make us stronger people and teach us valuable lessons about ourselves.

Anyway, keep your head high Jan...good things will come your way! :-)

Gnetch said...

Aw this is super sad. Don't worry, everything will be fine. You're right. One day, you'll get by and things will be better.

sEy said...

Jan, parting time are never easy in anyway. Just hold on to the hope that someday you will meet them again. Take Care Jan.....:)

Meg said...

Hey janjan....hope all izz well.goodbyes are never easy. this thing always hurts. to try get out of this kinda situation I always try to wish goodluck and see you soon...but at times down there I know its GoodBye and yeah it hurts.

But the day wud sure come when u wud get by and feel better

janjan said...

thank you for your well wishes friends... makes me feel a lot better. :)


blog visitors since 05/19/10