About Goodbyes and Dreading Tomorrow

If there's one thing I hate about the word "Goodbye", is that it brings an inconsolable feeling of loneliness. It shatters every hope, every piece of memory you keep holding on. It gives you emptiness and sadness when you begin to think of spending the coming days on your own again. Like it was before. Like when you hadn't known a certain kind of feeling exist.

Goodbyes always get me. It always breaks my heart when someone so close and important to me bids farewell, be it a colleague who decides to try his luck on other endeavors, or a friend who tries to seek greener pasture in foreign lands. I always hate the feeling of being left behind, of being abandoned. It's not that I'm going to miss them terribly, for I'm sure I will, it's the icky feeling that things will never be the same again. That everything you shared together will become nothing but memories which can only be replayed on your mind as time passes.

But they say nothing lasts forever. Even emotions fade over the course of time. Maybe I will learn to face this emptiness, this sadness, this loneliness I'm feeling. Maybe right now I don't wanna think about someone leaving, not just yet. Maybe I'll start thinking that tomorrow never comes so that I will stop dreading each and every day that comes after it.

I often hear a song that says, "Where is the good in goodbye?". Yeah. I already asked myself several times. And more often than not, I always find the same answer. The only good in goodbye is that it lets you face your fears and makes you stronger, which in turn molds you to become a better person.

I may not be able to comprehend the reason why such big decision has to be made, the logic of being apart, the essence of waiting for someone to come back, the value of trusting that promises will be kept, the faith that it's gonna be all worth it in the end - I know one day I'll understand. One day I'll get by. And one day I'm gonna be fine...