2010 : What's in it for me?

I'm not much a fan of astrology or zodiacs for that matter but I do read horoscope sometimes whenever a newspaper is present, tempting me to leaf through the style section or movie guide instead of the headlines. Year 2010 is year of the Metal /White Tiger according to Chinese astrology. Not only that I'm surprised to learn there's such a thing as "metal tiger" anyway, I mulled on the reality of what might good or bad this year's gonna offer to someone like me.

The year of the tiger is associated with good fortune, power and royalty. To some, tigers are viewed with both fear and respect. The funny thing was when I tried to look at my zodiac, it said "2010 will be a year of competition for those born in the year of the Rooster. In your career, you will face plenty of competition to get up onto a higher rung of the ladder in the company."

Competition is among the dreaded word that can make or break a person. As for me, it is a venue where you can showcase your edge and work at your advantage. It can mold you to become the person you never thought you were. In my case, career-wise speaking, I would love to have an ounce of competition where it will lead me then to the higher rung of the success ladder. I want to see a dramatic change in my career where I can say I made a better choice of staying where I am right now rather than where I'd wanna be. I want those years of hard work, those insurmountable difficulties and adjustments to finally pay off. I've put off and sacrifed a lot of opportunities that come my way because I'm too afraid and unready to take a stab at it. Now I guess is time for me to call the shots and the wisest thing to do is to stop lurking in my lair and get back to competition.

"I hope 2010 will be kinder to me." - that I wrote on my facebook wall before the breaking dawn of January 1st. I'm talking about the emotionally vulnerable side of me, an optimistic, hopeful, wishful, if not prayerful kind of rumination nearly drawing to skepticism and desperation. I've seen myself going through motions and struggles of everyday life where sometimes I wonder what it's like had things been different. I've been to heartaches, dried my tears and been told million lies. (Homaygawd! I can't believe I'm dishing my own personal love story here!!) I'm the perfect semblance of what laughing-outside-but-hurting-inside means. My past relationships were never good and believe me they're always traumatic in the end. I guess all of us at some point will have our own dose of heartaches that will make you wish them dead! But in my case? Damn, screw them all!

So what's in store for me? There's loads of it actually. If only I would trust myself, learn to forgive my mistakes and move forward. I just need to be positive. Who knows, 2010 might just be good for me.